The long walk “up front.”

Posted: March 23, 2013 in Uncategorized

My family was Southern Baptist.  Now for you folks “in the know” I probably would not have to say much more but for those who are not so familiar with the “Bible Belt” please allow me to expound.

Southern Baptists are the black belts of the Baptist world.  You can’t drink, you can’t dance, you can’t buy pots or pans or rakes or lawnmowers on  Sunday.  On your worst Sunday, you have to haul your pitiful ass out of bed, throw on your Sunday best and get to church.  Not because you don’t want to miss the sermon…because you need to be SEEN.

I hated the Baptist church.  I hated “Sunday School,” I hated the Wednesday night service, I hated the Royal Ambassadors, I hated the demolays, I hated having to go to vacation bible school.  I wanted no part of any of it but I was a kid and kids (back then anyway) had no rights.

Out of pure curiousity, I attended a Catholic mass with a friend on a Saturday afternoon.  I eventually was found out and was beaten to a bloody pulp by my mother.

Towards the end of our Sunday sermons, the music changed to this lowly, soulful tune with the pastor bowing his head and eyes closed, wailing “Jesus is calling!”  I was sitting on the hard wooden pew thinking, “Is this a local call or long distance and do any discount rates apply?”

The thing was…if you felt you were “Saved” then you walked to the front of the church where the pastor would wrap his arms around you and with ungodly rancid breath, would spew all sorts of glory about you…then he’d shove a tablet into your hand and a tiny stub of a pencil and point you to sit down in the first row where you would fill out this small, official form “Registering” you as a concrete member of the church and a follower of Jesus, I suppose.  Me?  For years I didn’t do it.  I really didn’t believe in god, jesus, religion, or any of that crap.  But, eventually I did do it since so many religious sheep were pressuring me.

The next Wednesday night they “Baptised me.”

So that was it.  I had been “Baptised” and none of it meant anything to me.  I was nine years old at that time.  Now I’m fifty-eight years young and happy to be a card-carrying Atheist!  All the years of brainwashing did nothing for my piece of mind.  Where some people feel the need to “believe” in something, I do not.

So I “believe” I’ll have another beer…


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s